Of Dreams.


I sank to the floor, covered my face with my hands and sobbed uncontrollably. The feeling of sheer helplessness was overwhelming, made worse by the judgmental stares cast in my direction. The piece of paper I clutched in my hands weighed me down more than a thousand elephants and I was consumed by a sense of regret. I thought back to the last few years of my life, wondering what I could have done differently and I could not think of a single thing I could have done better.

Today was to be the day the nightmare ended. Months of sleeplessness nights, constant stress, the never-ending guilt, all of that should have come to an end today. And instead, I now have to deal with being pushed on a path I had no desire to be on. I had to see my dreams crumble before my very eyes and I had to bear the burden of having disappointed my loved ones.

I don’t know if I would be able to withstand the burden. I don’t know if, at this age, I was even equipped to do so. I pulled myself to my feet, and walked away, still clutching my PSLE results in my hands.

****************************************************************************************

Despite the difficulties of being in the teaching profession, I have chosen to stay on, in large part due to the fact that I enjoy working with my students. I enjoy encouraging them, motivating them, instilling in them a love for learning, and most importantly, playing a positive influence in their lives.

However, of late, I have seen so many students who are unable to cope with the stress and pressure of national exams and that makes me worry. Because at the end of the day, exams come and go, and there are SO many paths to success, but health and happiness, those things really are precious.

I really need to start questioning my role as an educator, and finding ways to make my students understand this.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s