The 5 types of people you meet in Little India


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1) The Rich Man’s Kid

The Rich Man’s Kid is not to be messed with, for his grandfather owns all of the roads in Little India. He crosses the roads when he wants to, and not when he ought to. He will also catch up with his friends in the middle of the road, sometimes going as far as to show his affections through a warm hug, again in the middle of the road. He even performs risky, adventurous, high-speed stunts such as dashing across the road during peak hours. But of course, no one, and I mean NO ONE can question him, for it is his grandfather’s road.

2) The Taxi Snatcher

The Taxi Snatcher can be commonly found lurking around the stretch of road opposite Tekka Market and can be identified by the way he loiters around inconspicuously, doing his best to keep out of sight until the elusive green light makes its appearance. The Taxi Snatcher has no scruples whatsoever, and does not have any second thoughts about swooping down on someone else’s cab and absconding with it. He is also talented at pretending to have waited for ages, and has a knack for glaring at you with condescension for failing to notice his presence.

3) The Charitable Ones

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The Charitable Ones can all be found on the second floor of Tekka Market and all own shops selling beautiful punjabi suits. However, ‘selling’ is a bit of an overstatement, because in all honestly, they are actually giving away their suits for next to nothing.  How do I know this? Because they tell me so.

Very cheap la girl. I sell to you at cost price.”

Why you don’t want to buy? Best price already. I got no profit.”

I am making a loss you know, but for you, its ok”

All of these phrases would also be accompanied by a despondent expression, interjected with heart-breaking sighs of distress and a tone of utter misery.

Such magnanimity. How not to buy?

ps: The Charitable Ones often go missing during festive occasions, and are replaced by their cousins, The Fraudulent Ones.

4) The Aunty on a Mission

The Aunty on a Mission is easily recognised by the intense look of single-minded concentration on her face. She has errands to run and God save your soul if you dare to cross her path. She will bulldoze her way through crowds and strike terror in the hearts of stall owners who have the audacity to not give her the vegetables at the price she wants them at. Do not be fooled by her deceptively frail appearance, for she has the strength of a thousand elephants and can conduct an exhaustive search of the vicinity for the best deals, while carrying countless numbers of shopping bags. At the end of the day, the Aunty on a Mission can be found catching a rare quiet moment in Anandha Bhavan, celebrating her shopping triumphs over a cup of Bru coffee.

ps: The Character appearing in this description is fictitious. Any perceived resemblance to real persons is likely to get me into trouble. *coughmymomcough*

5) The Non-Indian

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The Non-Indians are a constant presence in Little India and can be distinguished by the perpetual wonderment etched on their face. They are often intoxicated by the aroma of spices and curry, and valiantly venture forth to sample the tempting offerings in the various restaurants. While many live to tell the tale of having heroically conquered Spicy Indian cuisine, unfortunately for some, these culinary experiments end in them shedding tears of agony at the fiery shock their tastebuds have been subjected to. Some Non-Indians also have a bizarre need to wear the colourful garlands sold in flower shops and look incredibly adorable as they parade around Little India, looking mighty pleased with themselves.

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