A couple of days after Mr N and I decided to get married, there was an article circulating on facebook, about all the wrong reasons for which people decide to get married, and how that shouldnt be the case. I couldn’t really wrap my head around that article, because I feel that the decision to get married is a very personal one, and could be made for a variety of reasons. As long as the couple involved are happy with their choice, who is to judge?
So why did I decide to get married?
Pressure from my mom? Maybe. I mean, the woman started off wanting me to marry a well-educated, intelligent, responsible man, and recently, I heard her mutter darkly about how at the rate I am going, it would be enough to find a man alive and mobile.
Age? Perhaps. Although the days where a woman needed to get married by 25 or be considered left on shelf are long gone, in the Indian community, being 30 and single is still considered somewhat of a blasphemous act and is enough to send any self-respecting sun tv drama serial watching Indian aunty into a state of shock and hysteria. You would then be subjected to unwavering scrutiny, the most intrusive of interrogations (Can you cook? Can you clean? Ahhh that must be it), and at the end of it, be rewarded with a look of deepest loathing for daring to go against our fine traditions and customs. So yes, age. That could perhaps be it.
Peer pressure? Once, I put up a facebook post about my latest nutella conquest, and was feeling all pleased about it, until I saw that post appearing on my newsfeed, right below a post about a friend who had just gone through 9 hours of labour to deliver a gorgeous little baby. Needless to say, I was mortified, and perhaps just a tad bit tempted to check with my mother if I really am turning 30 this year, or was the victim of a typo on my IC. So yes, when I peruse through social media, and see friends of my age getting married, having children and happily moving on to the next phase of my life, I do get worried, and I would be lying if I claimed otherwise.
While all these factors might, or might not have influenced my decision to get married, I can say for sure that the one reason motivating me to get married, to go along with this whirlwind and flurry of preparations, to put up with all the heartaches and disappointments that come along with wedding preparation, would be Mr N.
He makes me want to get married. He makes me want to spend the rest of my life with him. It would by no means be a perfect life. I forsee us fighting/disagreeing pretty much all the time. But he also makes me laugh. He makes me cry (tears of joy and otherwise). He apologizes when he is in the wrong, and sometimes when he isn’t. He makes my happiness a priority. And most importantly, he makes me want to do all of that for him. Sometimes, I want to pulverize him. But most other times, I really do want to be a good girlfriend, a good wife and a good mother.
Is that a good enough reason to want to get married? I sure think so 🙂